Staring at the Salad Bowl, Completely Spaced Out!!

So the last few weeks have just been crazy and intense....most of all for me within my mind. When I am stressed, I pull within myself and cant figure out what the Heck! So on Dec 1st my lovely sweet husband decided when I was already stressed to to gill with life dramas to ask me an important question. His friend was getting kicked out of his apartment that night and had no place to go, other then for him and his 2 cats to sleep in his car. Well in the begining of Dec this year we were having some 15 degree nights in P-town, and me being the person I am, I said that for a short period of time the friend could move in, because I felt bad for him. Now this Freind had been asking us for prolly 2 years if he could move in, but I always had an excuse of why I could say no. At this moment, all my truthful answers were gone! And the friend had cash in hand for rent, and honestly some of the life dramas we were having had to do with the lack of money. Needless to say my life has comepletely been turned upside down. I have so many feelings about this whole situation, I do even know where to start. And well this "Friend" and I REALLY do butt heads. One fight after another after another after another, I felt like I was more then done with EVERYTHING....The roommate, work, marriage, everything honestly feels like its killing me in this slow and incridibly painful way. No its not all about the roommate, but honestly I may be able to cope with the other life CRAP if this wasent attacking my mind, heart, and soul every 2 F'in seconds! So yesterday, John's Step Dad called him to tell him that the family had pre planned DAYS ago this christmas gathering, but as ussual we are the last to be informed about it, because John is so easy going, he just deals with this crap! DUDE we had less the 4 hours notice! WHAT IS THAT? I honestly would have just said that we were busy and skipped it! Its not like it really was that big of a deal if we hadent shown up.... Mom would have been sad for like a Minute! but there were so many people there you wouldnt have noticed the lack of US!! Dude.... You barely noticed us there! GOOD TIMES GOOD TIMES! anyway, we went, i got incribly overwhelmed like 5 different times, and had to step outside for fresh air at least twice! there where people everywhere, and some that were really LOUD AND CRAZY! Football Fan's, "I DONT GET IT" as the roommate would say ALL THE FREAKIN time! so now we are at the dinner table and every body is talking and being MARRY!!! and I just kinda uh..... Spaced Out! So I guess while I was spacing out I was looking at my step brother in law?!?!?! who was holding the salad Bowl... I guess I was giving his some SUPER crazy eyes over it too.....He suddenly stopped dishing out his salad so that he could hand me the Bowl because he thought I was REALLY WANTING THE SALAD LIKE CRAZY!!! Anyway, it was the best part of the whole night, Laughing at my weirdness! ;) I didnt want the salad. We eneded up leaving soon after that, because my J man was not feeling so well.... I think it was the Heat... It serioulsy felt like a SAUNA!! serioulsy people TURN DOWN THE HEAT! We eneded up taking a long drive home through the country with the windows comepletely down, just to recouperate from it all.... and I was once again reassured of why I SHOULD NEVER DRIVE! But i think thats another story! Did you all kow that next week is Christmas? Dont even get me started on what the roommate says about christmas!! But let me just say it was a 3 hours lecture about why it is not a Christian Holiday! UGH! None the less I do NOT feel the Christmas Spirit upon me at all!!! I wont even have the money for presents until Wed night! Talk about last minute! Which ive never done! But I dont really even seem to care this year! I am completely done with 2009...... and I just want it to be over with.... I plan to CUT ALL MY HAIR OFF to start 2010.... Needless to say J man isent so Happy of this choice! But I need to do what I need to do! I need to be able to control something in my life! And that is currently the only thing i have! So I think my new years resolution is to BLOG more about the CRAPPY POO in my life, but try and be more positive everywhere else! I kinda suck at remember to use this as an outlet. Which I really should instead of my facebook status's! So Wish me luck, and feel free to hold me accountable, when im POOR MEING! I wish you all love and peace in your hearts! And may the Holdy Spirit be with us all!