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Thursday, January 14, 2010

A Babies Smile!

I'm sitting here trying to ignore all if their annoying habits! Co-Workers banging on the table, smacking their lunch while they eat, reading articals outloud about some celebrity, talking with eachother about American Idol......the list goes on. I have my headphones on, with the volume turned up as loud as I can! Some people may walk by and think that I am trying to tune-out my bipolar thoughts that are running a million miles per minute! And that may be the case on some days, but today it's so I don't go insane from all the annoying habits you people hold. Most days I can ussually ignore these things. Today is not a normal day. It's been a long week.....emotionally! More then likely a blog for another day! Let's just say it's a doozy, with death, skulls, and repressed memories! This is really the first day I have been at work all week and it's Thursday! In some ways I really hate that I have to be here! I wish I could afford to take some more time off for some "mental health" time! Although I'm not really sure if more time would help. There are the other ways that I feel completely blessed to have the job I do! It's pretty easy to leave all your worries at the door when you come to work with 8 of the most adorable babies in the world! ;). I work in child care, and beleive me it's sometimes a really emotionally draining job! But other days it's the only thing that can lift you up! Today was one of them! The demons in my mind have been tearing up my heart all week, and just when I think I can't handle anymore I pick up a baby and they giggle and smile as big as they can! During that moment everything that was on my mind, in my heart, it's all gone and all I can think about is this precious baby! It reminds me that God is near by, and even though things get hard, and then harder, and even harder He is there, Holding my hand or Carrying me through, and as long I remember that and give it up to him, things will get better, they always do, God is always there! I always hear people talk about when things get hard for them they question god, and deny his pressence, they say " if God was True, why would he let these bad things happen? Why wouldn't he stop the pain?!" God gave us freewill! And most of the time people really appricate that! But with freewill comes sin,and with sin comes pain! Now, sometimes one persons sin can cause their entire family pain, for years and years and years! And God will be there for that family, but he won't turn back time, he won't take back someones sin! He won't take back the freewill that he gave us all! He will comfort those in pain, he will show us the light of a lesson through the pain. He might even touch someone elses heart, so they don't commit that same sin. And he will guide you as long as you will listen! He is a gentle god, he is a forgiving god, he is a god that stands by his word, he is a god that loves his children. He loves us so much, that he doesn't control us, he let's us make our own stupid mistakes, but he will be there to listen to us confess that we are dumb, he will be there to help us learn from the dumb, and even when you rebel and run as far as you can from God, but he will still be there, just patiently waiting , for whenever you may need him.....he will be right there! & If you look close enough you might even see his face someplace random, like in a babies smile! ;)


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Location:NW 116th Ave,Portland,United States

I'm Over It! I'm Over You! Time to Say Goodbye

Facebook! What is it really for? I believe it was originally intended for people to find past classmates or even just old friends that you have lost touch with! But what it had accually turned into is a bunch of idiots who waste their time playing "Cafe World" or "Farm Ville" or other pointless activities that have nothing to do with keeping in touch with people! I sign on-line and the majority of the time there are no messages from friends, there's no comments on my pictures. Heck 90% of my friends list don't accually even write status updates. The entire News Feed is all about so and so played this game, or that! I get these private messages.... That are stupid fwd crap! About post this in your status or post that, don't tell the boys!!! Seriously? What a freaking waste of time! I got rid of myspace and went to facebook because friends and family were facebooking! But someone tell me!!! What are you getting out of this!? Because personally I'm not getting a damn thing out of it anymore! I was orginally planning to delete my page after some drama withing the in-laws. J asked me not too, because that would make the little insecure abusive man more upset! So I complied! I have set out the goal to not write status updates at all during the year 2010! This was so that little men wouldn't get offended over something that doesn't have anything to do with him, once again! Well the one enjoying factor I had with facebook is now gone, so now what?! I have a very addictive personallity, I think thanks to the bipolar in some ways, well even though I do NOTHING with facebook anymore I continually get on-line to look at it, and honestly every tine I do it I Get Mad!!! It makes me so annoyed how ridiculous it is. Everyday I sign on, there's atleast 15 cafe world request, 10 farm ville request, 7 vampire wars request,5 private messages to post something idiodic in my status updates, and 0 things that are accually personal to me, or really anything that is personal about those on my friends list! To say the least IM OVER IT!!!! And honestly little man has taken me off of his friends list anyway, I don't know if it was his way of Flippin Out, or the advice of someone else! Either way.....me deleting my facebook should no longer cause family drama! So it's time to say GOODBYE!!!! I intend to Delete Delete Delete my Facebook page as soon as I get home. "Say Goodbye to My Little Friend!"


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:St. Vincent's Hospital, Portland Oregon