Am I Depressed?

Being asked at that just seems a little strange. Its not like its new information. This is not a new thing. It has been going on for awhile. Am I that good of an actor? Or Do people just think that it got better? I know that people are busy with their own lives and are doing their own thing, but when somebody asks me that, somebody who I would have thought would have already understand that I was "Depressed" and have been for awhile, I feel like im invisible. I feel like no one cares, I feel like no one understands. Which is funny because I know I am not alone, I know that people around me have been going through hard times as well as I. I know they know. I guess they just like to ignore what is right infront of them. I do understand its hard to pay comeplete attention to others when you are going through your own trials and tribulations. I am not even asking for asking for more attention. In alot of ways, I wish I could have less attention. I guess I am just asking that people not assume they know what is going on in my mind, and or ask such questions. I feel like I am being put in a Box. Like I am not acting in the norm, so I need to be LABELED in some other manner. OH SHE SOUNDS DEPRESSED. Does that make it better in the worlds eyes. Does that explain all of the strange behavior, or the radndom rantings that I have. Oh Shes going Britney Spears on our ass now. Give me a F'in break. Stop putting me in a box, I am I, I am not this disease! It seems that society has a hard time talking about such things, and I guess labeling it makes it so much easier for them our something. But honestly, if someone wanted to show me that they cared, they would just ask me if I was OK! Then if I were like I normally would do and Lie and say oh yeah Im just fine, or peachy or whatever BULL I felt like throughing off the cuff, they would sit me down and say seriously whats going on?!? But NOPE.... They either ask HEY HOW YA DOING, just to pass the weather, or they put me in a box, and offend me. And honestly, sometimes I can doing a pretty damn good job of ignoring my rainy day mood, as long as all the fuckers around dont go around pointing it out to me. And to top it all off, dont try to cheer me up. I am not a stress eater, I am not a go look at the pretty picture kind of gal... And honestly....my life is always so consitited of PUT ON A PRETTY FACE, that I get sick and tired of it. I ALWAYS have to go and hide away my emotions and feelings, I like to for one FUCKING second be able to be pissed off, cranky, moody, and just release that energy, instead of always hiding it in, and letting it boil into my veins. and the truth be told, when I am this "depressed" as your would put it, pretty pictures and pussy cats, and fluffy bunnies, just makes me more depressed. To make me feel better, is not to ignore me, its not to feed me candy, its not to make me play in the sunshine. Just let me be me, and let me know that I will be cared for by you no matter what me, comes out! Honestly, There is really only one person in this world other then GOD that makes me feel like I can be myself, and talk to them about anything and everything, and thats my Husband and really thats all I really need. But you must know, that having fair weather friends, or friends who the majority of the time that we talk its ALL ABOUT THEM, make me sick. I rage in the cage to not scream at them. But I try my hardest to not be like them.. I care about people, and I would really hope that it shows in how I am ussually patient with how they carry on for hours and hours about this and that, without even once letting me finish a sentence. But there comes a time that I just want to bash in my head, and scream from the annoying selfishness that this society holds so dear to their hearts. Im sick and tired of LIFE, does that make me depressed>? Because if so, I was depressed out of the womb! Wanna ASK ME THAT QUESTION AGAIN? Please note, this blog is for me to VENT, not meaning to offened anyone. ALSO note that, that question has been asked of me several times by several different groups and it has just been eating away from me. Please Know that I Love all my Friends, in their own special ways. I hope you all have unjudgemental evening..............& *May You All Awaken In Your Loved One's Arms, With Clear Minds, And Free Spirits!*